December 23, 2015: Jerks of the Year Awards!

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A Brief History

On December 23, 2015, as we approach the end of 2015, we pause to recognize the biggest jerks, idiots, morons, and generally detriments to society, people that have distinguished themselves in some way other than for the betterment of mankind.  (Note: The order listed does not indicate who is actually the biggest jerk.)  Apologies to the millions of other deserving jerks that we left off the list.  Maybe next year!

Digging Deeper

10. Donald Trump, future President?

In spite of repeated tasteless statements insulting fellow candidates, reporters and immigrants, Trump remains the front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination.  His characterization of Mexican immigrants as hard core criminals, murderers and rapist is ridiculous.  In fact, the percentage of miscreants among that demographic group is almost certainly less than most other demographic groups.  Trump took the prize when he made fun of a disabled reporter with a wild imitation for the camera, truly beneath the dignity of the office he seeks.  His hair alone would rate a spot on this list.

9. Johnny “Johnny Football” Manziel, NFL quarterback.

Also in the running for this list (if we had made one) in 2014, Manziel was drafted by the Browns as a franchise quarterback.  His work habits and substance abuse kept him on the sidelines, and when he did play he was a flop.  In 2015 he entered extensive rehab, but turned right around and had a domestic incident while admittedly he had been drinking.  Named the starting quarterback for the rest of the year during the “bye” week, Johnny just could not behave for the extended time off and found himself on video at drinking parties he was not supposed to attend.  To make matters worse, he lied to the coaches about it, and was (temporarily) benched.  Perhaps he can start the vindication process now that he has a quality start under his belt and we will see if he can learn to grow up and behave.  We actually wish him well and think he could be a great player if he behaves.

8.  Martin Shkreli, Corporate Vampire.

This buffoon became the CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals and in September 2015 raised the price of a life saving pill from $13.50 (not cheap) to $750 apiece!  Since the cancer and AIDS patients that need the pill have no choice but to buy the product, this shameless price gouging brought huge criticism on Shkreli and his company, who quickly promised to reduce the price.  In November of 2015 Shkreli used his millions to make the winning bid ($2 million) at auction for a single copy of a Wu Tang Clan album that was never released and one he claims he will not even play.  As Kismet, Fate, Serendipity or whatever you call it happens, Shkreli was indicted in December 2015 for fraud committed while he was at his previous place of employment, accused of setting up a Ponzi scheme of lies and deceits to steal money from investors.

7.  ISIS, ISIL, whatever.

The Islamic State has been terrorizing their own homelands and destroying centuries old cultural symbols because those symbols do not fit with the ISIS brand of radical Islam.  Not just satisfied with beheading Infidels (Christians, Jews, random Americans and Europeans), they also torture, enslave, behead, and burn to death fellow Muslims that are not on board with the Medieval philosophy espoused by ISIS.

6.  Homeland Security.

Like “Military Intelligence” the terms seem to be mutually exclusive.  Analysis of airport security measures repeatedly show the enormous amounts of money spent on flying safety has not actually made us safer than before.  On the other hand, flying has become a nightmare, which is a good pretend show of security, but without any real world benefit.  Plus, how do they keep missing internal terrorists such as the San Bernardino terrorists?  With all that monitoring of phones and computers, and red flags such as travel to the Middle East you would think the massively expensive security apparatus would have caught these creeps before instead of after the tragedy.

5.  Phony “Gun Control” Advocates.

Every time a tragedy strikes, the same old tired crap gets spewed about “gun control,” but in virtually every single case the laws proposed would have had nothing to do with preventing the crime of the moment.  Hey politicians and pundits, how about vigorously enforcing the law prohibiting certain people from attempting to buy or posses a gun by prosecuting those people?  For some baffling reason people turned away from a gun purchase are virtually never prosecuted!  Why not?  As far as the seemingly reasonable ban on selling guns to people on the “no fly list,” you must remember flying is not a Constitutional right, but guns are.  People are often mistakenly put on the no fly list in error because of a similar name and the like, and there is no method of appeal.  The government does not have to tell you why you are on the list or justify it in any way.  If certain suspected potential terrorists are deemed not suitable for gun purchase, they should be put on the list and a method of appealing the status within a reasonable time period should be created.

4.  Idiots that falsely portray Planned Parenthood as an abortion factory, etc.  (CMP).

In 2015 the Center for Medical Progress created a few films alleging to show horrible goings on at Planned Parenthood clinics.  The films were highly edited and out of context, and featured at least one video supposedly of a Planned Parenthood facility that was in fact not filmed at such a locale.  The videos allege Planned Parenthood is in the business of selling fetal body parts for a profit (investigated by several states and NOT TRUE), and make the organization seem to be an abortion assembly line operation.  In fact, Planned Parenthood deals with all sorts of women’s health issues, especially for the lower economic classes, and abortions are not encouraged, although they do represent a small part of the medical practice.  Additionally, politicians such as Carly Fiorina and others continue to falsely refer to Planned Parenthood as using tax dollars to perform abortions (prohibited by law) and keep referring to a video where an alleged aborted fetus (actually a stillborn baby) is cut up for parts (not even in a Planned Parenthood clinic).  This sort of irresponsible lying and false accusations results in deranged goofs (see below) attacking innocent people.

3.  Robert Dear, Planned Parenthood murderer.

Another phony religious person that claims to be a Christian, but engages in un-Christian behavior.  With a history of violence and carrying weapons, Dear had previously vandalized Planned Parenthood locations by gluing their locks, per his ex-wife.  Dear is said to have praised those who attacked abortion clinics and Planned Parenthood clinics.  Dear, clearly deranged (yes, sometimes you can tell a book by its cover, just look at him!) shot up a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado, killing a police officer and 2 other innocent people, and injuring another 9 before being taken into custody by police.

2.  Enrique Marquez, terrorist supporter.

Another guy involved in the San Bernardino terrorist massacre, Marquez was a neighbor of Farook and converted to Islam, and became radicalized along with Farook, conspiring with Farook to build bombs and amass weapons.  Marquez actually bought the guns used in the massacre under false pretenses.  He has been charged with abetting terrorism, gun law violations, and immigration fraud for importing a woman from Europe falsely presented as his wife.  It seems this woman from Russia is the sister of the wife of Farook’s brother.  On top of the idiotic interpretation of Islam that resulted in the terrorists plots, Marquez is known to consume alcohol, something a devout Muslim would not do.

1.  Syed Farook and Tashfeen Malik, San Berardino terrorists.

Farook was born and raised in the US, living a good life with all the protections and benefits of being an American, along with the inalienable right to practice what religion he wanted to practice.  Malik was his bride from Pakistan who came to the US legally and was also welcomed into a much nicer lifestyle with more freedoms (including religious freedom) than in Pakistan.  These 2 jerks for no apparent reason hate the US and in some sort of twisted allegiance to radical Islamist terrorism decided to commit mass murder against innocent Americans, shooting 30 people, of which 16 died.  The jerky couple was in turn killed in a shootout with police.

Special Award, Janene Bennett, anti-gay county clerk.

This so called “Christian” woman is so offended that she decided to refuse to do her legally obligated job to which she was elected (Clerk of Otoe County, Kentucky) and refused to issue marriage licenses to gay couples despite a court order to do so.  To top it off, Huckster Mike Huckabee was on hand for her release from jail with an amplified version of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor playing as if this trollop was Rocky Balboa personified.  In fact, it turns out this phony to whom marriage is so sacred is a divorced adulteress herself.  She even managed to see the Pope when he visited the US, something that apparently embarrassed the Vatican.  Question for students (and subscribers): Does she realize the Catholic Church does not approve of divorce and adultery?  Feel free to defend these people if you want to, and feel free to nominate your own special jerks in the comments section below this article.

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Historical Evidence

For more information, please see…

Mayo, Matthew P.  Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in New England History (Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in History).  Globe Pequot, 2013.

Perry, Phyllis J.  Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in Colorado History, First Edition (Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in History).  Globe Pequot, 2011.

Stapilus, Randy.  Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in Idaho History (Speaking Ill of the Dead: Jerks in History).  TwoDot, 2015.


About Author

Abdul Alhazred

“But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." "How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland