A Brief History
On December 10, 1541, Thomas Culpeper and Francis Dereham were executed by King Henry VIII of England for having sexual affairs with the Queen, Catherine Howard, wife of Henry VIII, a really, really stupid decision on the part of the two guys that somehow thought having an affair with the young queen was a good idea. We wrote about this incident and 9 others in a previous article, “December 10, 1541: 10 Dumb Decisions (Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Idiocy Edition)” and today we expand on the subject to include 10 more poor choices when it came to marriage and or sexual relations. As always, feel free to nominate those people and incidents you think belong on this list, or to take exception to anything we have listed.
Digging Deeper
1. Anne Boleyn marries Henry VIII of England.
How could we ignore the other wife that Henry VIII had executed after we listed Catherine Howard and her lovers in the previous list? Anne married Henry in 1533 after Henry dumped his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, because Catherine did not bear Henry the son he so desperately wanted. (Not to mention Catherine was 48 years old and Anne was a mere child of 32 at the time). Anne found out the hard way that failing to bear a son to Henry was a capital offense, when Henry had his marriage to her annulled and had Anne tried for treason and adultery as well as incest. While the adultery and incest were probably fabrications and we cannot reliably say that she made bad choices in those cases, we can surely say her decision to pursue and marry Henry cost Anne her life when she was executed by beheading in 1536, only 35 years old. (Note: Because of conflicting and incomplete records, it is possible Anne was born in 1508 instead of the 1501 date we are basing this segment on.) Marrying rich and powerful men, especially those with kingly power (or dictators) is a risky proposition as history shows again and again, especially those with a bad marriage track record or those likely to have lots of enemies.
2. Clara Petacci, Mistress of Benito Mussolini.
Clara was born in 1912, some 28 years younger than her boyfriend, Italian dictator Benito Mussolini. Clara stuck by Mussolini much as Eva Braun stuck by Adolf Hitler even after the war (World War II) had gone very badly for Italy and Germany and the end of any sort of power and prestige for the pompous dictator was clearly over. The pair were captured by Italian partisans while attempting to escape those same Italian partisans and get to the safety of Switzerland with the ultimate goal of reaching Spain to begin Mussolini’s exile. Unfortunately for the ill-starred couple, the partisans caught them and executed both of them by firing squad, hanging the bodies upside down in Milan for the common folk to take vengeance on the dead bodies. Mistake Number 1, hooking up with a pompous and egomaniacal dictator, Mistake Number 2, staying with Mussolini when things had clearly gone bad. Even Mussolini’s wife avoided the fate of Clara Petacci by not being with Mussolini as he tried to flee Italy.
3. Kathleen “Katie” McLaughlin marries Jared Fogle, child pornographer.
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Poor Katie! In 2010 she married the once divorced Jared Fogle, a television commercial celebrity that had lost a ton of weight by eating only Subway fast food sandwiches. Fogle had gained back 40 of the pounds he had lost, but hey, he still had about $15 million to his name. Turns out Jared was not the jolly nice guy he seemed to be on television, and though the couple had 2 children in the 4 years they were married the marriage was fated for doom. Fogle had a scrape with law enforcement as early as 2007 when he was investigated by the FBI after being reported for making “salacious” comments to Junior High School age girls. Perhaps coincidentally, Fogle’s first marriage ended in 2007. (Things that make you say “Hmm….”). Fogle’s perverted tendencies went public in 2015 when law enforcement authorities raided his home and found evidence of extensive involvement in child pornography. Katie took the kids and fled for unknown places to avoid the media storm and filed for divorce that same year. Fogle was convicted of child porn related crimes and imprisoned, with the earliest possible release date of 2029. Although Katie and the kids got $7 million from the divorce agreement, she has to live with the fact that she was married to and bore the children of a criminal creep, and her kids have the misfortune of having a famous pervert for a dad. On top of the shame and mental trauma, Katie had to sue Subway for violating privacy agreements and even real property loss because Subway had allegedly covered up reports to management that Jared was involved in kiddie porn. The lawsuit was dismissed in Indiana because the court ruled that most of Jared’s commercial work occurred outside of that state. The State of New York is considering criminal charges against Fogle as well.
4. Earvin “Magic” Johnson Jr. contracts HIV after having sex with “300 to 500 women a year.”
Sure, Magic was a great basketball player and a charismatic personality, but having unprotected sex with perhaps 6,500 women? Not a smart choice! NBA Hall of Fame player, coach and executive Jerry West reported Magic would have sex in the locker room or trainer’s room after a game before even giving his post-game press conference! When Johnson revealed his HIV positive status to a stunned sporting world in 1991, the AIDS epidemic was still fairly new and had not yet been understood by the public. Rumors of Johnson being gay or bi-sexual were rampant, and many players publicly stated they did not want to play on the same court with anyone that was HIV Positive. Since the big reveal, Johnson has been a spokesman and advocate for safe sex. If only he had started 20 years earlier! We think maybe those women did not make such a good decision about having sex with Magic Johnson, either.
5. Donald Trump flings with Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, botched attempted cover-up.
Prior to being elected President of the United States, Donald Trump was just a rich celebrity playboy and reality television star that was well known for dabbling with the ladies. He made a major mistake by having a one night affair with porn actress Stormy Daniels (real name Stephanie Gregory as born, Stephanie Clifford for legal purposes). Although Trump, through his personal attorney and “fixer” Michael Cohen, allegedly paid Daniels $130,000 in hush money (non-disclosure about the affair), Trump showed incredibly poor judgement by having sex with a porn star while his wife was either pregnant or just gave birth, no less, and expecting it to remain secret! If Trump actually did make the payment or authorize the payment, he may be in violation of US election campaign laws and the violation might result in criminal charges against him and or impeachment. Likewise, Trump also reportedly had an affair with Playboy Magazine Playmate Karen McDougal in 2006-2007, covering the time Trump was married to his current wife, Melania. Again, Trump and Cohen are reported to have paid McDougal $150,000 in hush money, also during the 2016 Presidential campaign, putting Trump in legal jeopardy for violating campaign finance laws. Having sex with high-profile people and making huge payoffs to keep them quiet is not really a formula for success, It seems non-disclosure sexual relations were not in Trump’s book, The Art of the Deal! (Note: The unproven allegation that Donald Trump at some point in the past was caught on spy-cam video by the Russians with 2 prostitutes in a Moscow hotel will make the list if the allegations are ever proven. Otherwise, that alleged incident will remain unlisted.)
6. Joseph A. Buttafuoco has sex with a homicidal teenage minor.
Joey was running his own auto body shop in New Jersey when he decided to carry on with a sexual affair with Amy Fisher, a girl of less than 18 years of age (16) from 1991 to 1992. Apparently, Joey did not think that a young girl like Amy might fall in love with the older man, and Fisher went to the Buttafuoco house to eliminate her “competition” for Joey, the unfortunate Mrs. Buttafuoco, Mary Jo. After announcing their sexual affair when Mary Jo answered the door, Fisher shot the unsuspecting woman right in the face, seriously wounding though not killing the married woman. Joey ended up being convicted of statutory rape and serving 4 months in jail, while Amy was slammed with serving 7 years behind bars. At the time the affair started, Joey was 45 years old to Amy’s 16 years. Poor choice on Joey’s part, and of course poor choice on Amy’s part, but we give her a pass because of her age. Fisher went on after jail to become a porn actress. DO NOT GET HER MAD!!!
7. John Wayne Bobbit forces himself on the wrong woman.
John and Lorena Bobbit were married in 1989, and when John allegedly came home one night in 1993, she claims he sexually assaulted her by having forcible intercourse when she was trying to refuse to have sex. The irate Lorena waited until John fell asleep, then detached his manhood from his person by cutting off his penis with a kitchen knife while the unsuspecting man slept! The irate woman then fled from the home with the severed sex organ in her hand, tossing the penis out of the vehicle’s window as she drove away. Incredibly, the penis was found and reattached to its rightful owner, and reportedly the operation restored sexual function to the distraught man, but the organ never did regain a sense of feeling. John was found not guilty of raping his wife, and Lorena was found not guilty by reason of insanity for grievously wounding her husband. She had claimed John had physically and sexually abused her on numerous occasions. John Bobbit and Lorena were divorced after the court cases, and John turned to a variety of occupations, including starring in a pair of porno movies. He was involved in some criminal contact with the police for battery on a woman and theft, later remarrying, though that marriage included allegations of physical abuse and ended in divorce. He later broke his neck in an automobile accident. Lorena worked in a beauty salon and became an advocate for battered women. The pair appeared on a television show together in 2009!
8. Comedian Bill Cosby drugs and rapes women.
Comedian Bill Cosby, once though of as “America’s Dad” was a highly successful comedian and television star, a respected voice exhorting young people to study hard and behave in order to succeed in life. Alas, that wonderful reputation built over many years crumbled when allegations of sexual assault started flowing like water from a broken water main. Cosby was convicted of sexual assault in a retrial in 2018, later sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison at the age of 81! All those tons of civic awards, honorary degrees and other public accolades have largely been withdrawn and his reputation is ruined. Even his fortune of perhaps $400 million will not comfort him as he spends his “golden years” in prison. With his engaging personality, fame, and fortune, it is likely Cosby could have scored numerous sexual relations of a consensual nature if he had only behaved himself instead of relying on drugged drinks to sedate women that he subsequently raped. Very, very poor choices. (Of course, having sex with anyone that does not properly consent is a dumb, criminal choice.)
9. Marilynn Myers and Carole Hoff, both married mass murderer John Wayne Gacy.
This unsuspecting pair of women married serial murderer and rapist John Wayne Gacy, Myers in 1964 (divorced 1969) and Hoff in 1972 (divorced 1976). The monster they had married was convicted in 1980 of murdering at least 33 boys, almost all of them raped and strangled to death. He was executed by lethal injection in 1994, a solid argument in favor of the death penalty if there ever was! As early as 1967 Gacy was known to have sexually assaulted boys, and he was sent to prison in 1968 for the crime of sodomy with a teen boy, as well as having another 18 year old sexually assault the boy in an effort to intimidate the victim as a potential witness against Gacy. His first wife filed for divorce upon his conviction for sodomy. Not surprisingly, Gacy was found by court ordered psychiatric testing to be a sociopath and a psychopath. Gacy only served 18 months of a ten year sentence, before being released to continue his predatory ways. In spite of his criminal history, Gacy managed to charm his second wife into marrying him in 1972, even though he had been arrested again for sexual assault on a boy in 1971. His second wife Carole filed for divorce in 1975 (divorce granted in 1976) using the false story of Gacy being unfaithful with other women to get the court to grant the divorce. Gacy was then free to engage in his predations of young boys, facilitated by his work as a Clown. (As if clowns are not creepy enough!) In 1978 Gacy’s predatory ways finally were ended when his abduction of a 15 year old boy resulted in an investigation that found Gacy to have numerous mementos of his murders, such as a class ring and drivers licenses belonging to his victims. Investigators found Gacy’s criminal history and the sick creep was finally arrested and convicted of at least some of his crimes. Gacy had even quipped to detectives over a meal at a meeting in a restaurant that, “Clowns can get away with murder.” No John, they cannot. How could the 2 women have been such poor judges of character to have married Gacy? (And give birth to 2 children by the murderer.) Bad decision times 2.
10. Jacqueline May “Jackie” Battley (Gingrich), has sex with then marries her student.
Teachers having sex with school children is pretty much universally regarded as a bad choice. Battley carried on a sexual affair with the 16 year old Newt Gingrich, future Speaker of the House of Representatives of the United States when Newt was a 16 year old student in her geometry class. She then compounded her bad choice by marrying the future draft dodger when she was 26 and he was only 19. Newt would go on to have 2 children with Jackie, but also engaged in a few extra-marital affairs, including while she was recovering from cancer surgery in the hospital! That particular affair led to Newt divorcing Jackie and marrying his second wife, even though Jackie wanted to make the marriage work. Mistake, Lady! Newt said that Jackie was not “young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President of the United States,” important to him since his political aspirations were to become President. In 1981, only 6 months after his divorce, Gingrich married wife #2, and in turn was cheating on her with wife #3 while Gingrich and #2 were still married. Why would #3 marry a serial cheater? Poor judgement, we think, especially since wife #3 is 20 years younger than Newt. On top of it, Gingrich was persecuting President Bill Clinton for having an unseemly relationship with a White House intern (Monica Lewinsky) while he was engaged in cheating on his own wife. Should Callista (aka, wife #3) have figured that this guy might not be a good choice? Apparently not, because she married him. (Note: We use the Gingrich case to cover virtually all cases of teachers having sexual relations with minor students, many of which have become famous incidents.)
Question for students (and subscribers): Which of these incidents have you previously heard of? Do you think the people cited in the article made dumb decisions? Which incident listed do you find to the be the worst decision making of all? Please let us know in the comments section below this article.
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Historical Evidence
For more information, please see…
Kirshenbaum, Mira. Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship. Plume, 1997.
Tazkuvel, Embrosewyn. Soul Mate Auras: How to Find Your Soul Mate & “Happily Ever After”. Kaleidoscope Publications, 2015.
The featured image in this article, a painting of Catherine Howard by Hans Holbein (1497/1498–1543), is a faithful photographic reproduction of a two-dimensional, public domain work of art. The work of art itself is in the public domain for the following reason: This work is in the public domain in its country of origin and other countries and areas where the copyright term is the author’s life plus 100 years or less. This photographic reproduction is therefore also considered to be in the public domain in the United States.
