A Brief History
On April 23, 1016, Edmund Ironside was crowned King of England, replacing his father Aethelred the Unready.
Digging Deeper
Names used to mean more than just something looked up in a book or passed down from your parents.
People used to earn their names based on where they lived, what they looked like or what they accomplished.
Of course, it is easiest for us in the United States to understand English names, but other societies have named people the same way. Surely the kings noted above had “ironsides” and was “unready” for something, and the Indian (Native American) chief, Man Afraid of His Horse probably had a little equine phobia going on.

Names like Smith (metal worker), Farmer and Miller denoted the family occupation. President Eisenhower got his name from the German for “iron hewer.”
(Note: We do not know how Darryl Strawberry’s family got their name.) Remember the Kevin Costner movie where he is named “Dances With Wolves” by his Native American friends? The movie might have done somewhat worse if he had danced with “skanks!”

Getting back to kings and such, some names were pretty cool, like Attila the Hun also known as “The Scourge of God.” Some names were not so cool. Take the king of France, Pepin the Short, who happened to be married to Bertha With the Big Feet. (Seriously, how big were they?) Aethelred who just was not ready was preceded by Edward the Martyr and Edward the Peaceful. I would rather be known as The Peaceful. Also in Merrie Olde England was Harold Harefoot, grandson of Sweyn Forkbeard. (Luckily, there were no Mary Zitfaces that I know of.) Edward the Confessor (must have done a lot of bad things) and William the Bastard came later. Apparently, Edward Longshanks had to buy “tall” sized pants, and for some reason Richard Cromwell was known as Tumbledown Dick.

France gave us Clothar the Old and Clovis the Lazy, and Charles the Fat. Must have been hard times in France! Things continued in the not so good way with kings like Louis the Debonaire, Charles the Bald and Louis the Stammerer. Charles the Simple was probably not too complicated, n’est-ce pas?

It might be a good idea to find a wife named Baker or Cook, but not so much a doctor named Butcher, Slaughter or Bonebreaker. And what is the deal with two first names for your first and last name? John Wayne, Barney Frank, Ray Charles, can they not afford a last name? Why do assassins always seem to have three names? Except of course Sirhan Sirhan, which is an entirely new line of questions…

By now you are probably wondering, “What does Zarzeczny mean?” I have been told it means something like “riverside” or “river edge” in Polish, as my father’s ancestors apparently lived by a river. Thank goodness they did not live next to an insane asylum or I might be Dr. Nuthouse! Question for students (and subscribers): What does your name mean? Please let us know in the comments section below this article.
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Historical Evidence
For more information, please see…
Rose, Christine. Nicknames: Past and Present. CR Publications, 2007.
<span class="dsq-postid" data-dsqidentifier="1845 http://www.crackedhistory.com/?p=1845">106 Comments
I think it would be interesting to still have it so our names were something we earned. My name Natalyn was made up because my parents could not choose between Katelyn and Natalie. My middle name is Jade after a musician my parents liked. My brothers also have middle names after musicians. Music is something that brought my parents together so it’s nice they used our names to reflect that. Although I think my middle name is appropriate because it shows a part of my family, it would be way more awesome if my first name was something that defined me.
I found this article very interesting, I did not know names were chosen differently for you back in the day. I always thought names was just always chosen by the child parents and the was much significance of them.
I think its cook how people got there names from where they lived, what they look like and what they accomplished. I don’t know why my parents decided to call me autumn I wasn’t born in the fall if anyone was wondering.
My name means light, but I have no idea why my mom picked it. My name was going to be Alexandra, until I was born she decided to name me Morgan.
The nicknames are awesome ! I wonder what mine would be? Probably something stupid but still I’m curious! I wish we still did this.
Those are some great nicknames!
I have no idea what my last name means though I do know it is Czech. Regardless, some of the titles given to these monarchs are quite interesting. Apparently, people from this age didn’t hold back when they disliked something about a monarch.
This article was pretty surprising. Interesting names! Who would’ve guessed. Its interesting to hear where some of these nick names came from and how they came about.
I would like to be able to trace my name back to its origins and find out what is was my ancestors did to earn our name! This sort of thing is quite interesting.
Its interesting to see that people earned their names based on where they lived or what they looked like.
Some of these names are outlandish! They seemed to be brutally honest though. Who names someone Bertha with the Big Feet?!
My last name doesn’t translate back to Polish directly due to spelling changes, but my grandpa said Słupecki means shoe maker.
This makes me wonder about the origin of my last name. A lot of my family came to the United States after World War II, so I wonder if any of their names were changed to become more “Americanized” and I am becoming curious as to the origins of my own last name in general. It’s pretty fascinating how some of the greatest historical figures didn’t have last names which is so commonplace in our world today.
It is strange how someones last name could determine their class within society. Makes me curious as to where my roots trace back too. I also wonder how and why a last name of certain origin could constitute what type of job position a person held.
My grandparents came here directly from Hungary, so i always wonder what my last name meant back in the day or what name it came from.
I guess that makes sense. your name is in some way, what reveals you as a person to others. As for my name, Jon, means toilet. or if you go all the way back to the Hebrew: God is gracious, God has shown favor
I think it would be hilarious if we all had names to describe ourselves today, however, I feel like many people would not be happy with the names that they would be assigned.
I think it is interesting that the name you were given corresponded to some sort of trait that you possessed, such as Clovis the Lazy. My last name Huber is German and it means huobe, which is a unit of land a farmer might possess. I guess this means that my ancestors were probably farmers.
I have always found what our names mean extremely fascinating. Off hand I forget what Gregory means.
(Tumbledown Dick is hilarious!) My name is more cultural/religious than a name that has a translation in it. Where I’m from everyone is assigned a name based on a religious figure (there were hundreds to choose from, and variations to all these names.) Some of them also had dates associated with them, although I am not sure if it was birth or death. I was born on the date related to St. Ilia, therefore I was given that name by default! Apparently it is not common for someone to be born such specific date.
Names are very interesting especially when they make no sense. My last name, Mandato, means to command but as far as I know none of my Italian relatives were in any armies or battles. I’ll have to “Dig Deeper” into it.
It’s ridiculous to me that people were given some sort of a nickname that was referred to as their actual name. It makes me wonder what my friends, family, or even I would be named if our society still used the same naming system. I feel bad for the individuals who were appointed such embarrassing names.
I’m not sure what my name “Pugliese” means precisely, but I know it’s a type of Italian Bread…
I do not know what what my last name means. It would be much more interesting if our names were a true part of our characteristics
It would be weird if still today people were named based on traits or something like “big feet” many people would probably get made fun of cause it would give away everyones charateristics without them telling another just by hearing their name. I am unsure what my last name means, I believe its german?
Im not to sure what my last name means.. But I think the ‘names’ people earned wasn’t nice because it give everyone a chance to be pick/bullied on
The last name Wardle means… watchers of the hill. We used to watch over the valleys by guarding the hills from attacks. — DAVID WARDLE
Its weird to know that most of our names just came from what our ancestors occupations used to be. Not quite sure what mine would refer to.
Apparently my first name stands for “defender of mankind”. Weird!
hopefully my name doesnt mean/relate to my ancestors being convicts 😛
this is a very interesting article. I know my last name although mocked and misspelled by others mine is the original spelled as Whitacre. which if you break it down could be seen as White Acre which if I research my ancestors when they came here they lived in places that generally had a lot of snow.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zimmer_%28surname%29
This is too interesting! My last name (in German, my grandpa’s mother tongue) means chamber, which if my ancestors hadn’t dropped the “man” from the end of “Zimmer”, would mean ” carpenter. Apparently my ancestors build houses!
my last name comes from the Latin word Benedictus, meaning blessed.
Apparently my last name has something to do with being a spiritual person.
I always wondered what my last name meant. It would be interesting to see my families history and see what I came from
I wonder if assassins tend to be referred to with three names so as to better distinguish them from others who may have similar names.
Just think how back then they actually thought about names of people, now there are people that just throw random letters together and say “that sounds like a name I guess”
I have always wondered what my name means but it is difficult to find out about it!
I like Bertha with the Big Feet, it would be fun to see what our names would have been back then
I’m curious to see how the names of today would of been said back then since the meaning and where you live. I think be fun to bring these back atleast a day to get a laugh or two outta them.
Pretty glad names are like they are today
Very interesting but I’m glad names aren’t like that now
I know my last name is “beautiful road” as manyof the French people in Quebec and Northern New England back in the 18th and 19th century took on a describing name of where they lived near. Intresestingly though, my ancesters prior to being rennamed a french name immigrated from Normandy with the name Hus.
Are
I think it is kind of neat the names use to be like that. Personally my Grandfather did a lot of research on our family history. My maiden name, Mascarella, originated in Bologna, Italy but the exact meaning behind it is unknown.
My family has done extensive research into our family history, and my grandfather is confident that our name, Lucas, was derived from Saint Luke sometime in the 14h or 15th century somewhere in Essex England.
This was a very interesting article, I found it quite comical. No one in my family has done any history on our last name. The farthest back I can go are relative in Alabama.
It’s quite intriguing to see where people used to get their names. The only thing I know about my name is that it is a very common last name in England.
That was a funny story. I like the one about the doctor and his or her name being butcher, slaughterer of bone breaker. That sounds like a great name for a doctor. A lot of people today have the double names where they have a first name and another first name for there last name.
It actually really crazy if you go deep into the history of your last name.
I think it’s interesting to see the different names that are used throughout history. But it’s also interesting because our names are still unique today and people just keep trying to come up with more and more different combinations.
I had to do a writing essay on what my name means, and it meant the star of the sea. Which i thought was pretty interesting. I like how our names have history and meaning, they really help define us as people.
Its interesting how people came up with these ways of classifying eachother instead of just going “hey have you seen jim? No not that jim the other one”
Most names have a background that I personally feel is important to research. You never know what you will find out.
I love that each of our names mean something. I kind of want to do some research on my name now that I have read this article. The only thing that i know is that my family has a big line from Georgia.
I love learning about names and their meanings
I have never really thought about my name having a meaning behind it. This article makes me wonder if my name means anything.
I would love to go back to a system of earning your name, but I also think it would be rough to be stuck with something. For example, I’m sure there was more to Bertha than just her big feet!
Finding out the background of your name intrigues me. There’s nothing like your own family crest.
earning your name is interesting, and I believe that when your name means something, this is a unique part about you.
I think earning your name would be cool as long as it wasn’t embarrassing like some of the names above.
Earning your name would be a interesting way of going about because alot of people would have awful names
This was a cool article, Iv never thought about what my name and ancestors where named for !
Thinking how my family got the last name Creamer…… Things are interesting.
Attila the Hun “The Scourge of God.” Okay so that is about the coolest name meaning out there. I don’t care who you are The scourge of god just sounds so freaking mean to say!
My last name Hillyer means “one who tiles a roof or a thatcher” that’s interesting I never knew that.
My last name is German and is in fact a town in Germany.
I wonder if an ancestor of mine had their birthday in May.
Or she MAY NOT have…either way, be glad their birthday was not in February…
Ive heard of the huns, ive heard of the kevin costner movie , but i havent seen it so the Darryl strawberry.
I wonder if my distant relatives use to dig wells as a job before they came to America.
My last name actually started our with the original spelling of Schaefer, since then its selling has changed several times. One of those being mine with Shaffer. The original word meaning Sheppard.
My last name actually means “Powerful and complete”, really interesting to learn a little more about my last names history.
Last names are quite odd. not too sure where mine came from
I think it’s weird to name someone by what they looked like. Makes me wonder where my last name came from.
My last name In German means Illustrious warrior, Army, Bright. And was Introduced into Britain during the Norman Conquest.
There must have been some prize back then for worst name.
My last name “Nagy” is Hungarian. It is one of the most popular last names in Hungary. It can be interpreted as meaning “Great”.
My moms first name is “Heike” and she is German, it is one of the most popular first. Names in Germany.
I guess that is why “Smith” and “Baker” are such common last names!
My name means two different things.
Alexander: Defender of man, or defending men
Gowin: Metalworker
Sounds like I am supposed to be one bad-ass blacksmith!
Apparently Payton means “From Pacca’s town”. I have no idea what that means.
Apparently “Belser” is German. I find that ineresting because my family and thier ancestors are from down south.
My last name Miller is just through marriage and I don’t know where and what it means, my maiden name is Hoover which is one who was a feudal tenant of a German hide of land; one who worked an area covering about 120 acres.
I can’t believe that a king would allow his wife to be known as “the one with big feet.”
Very Interesting. I have no idea where my last name is from.
i know my last name is irish but im not sure where it came about
I would be fine to earn a last name just as long as it’s not anything too bazaar or crazy.
people to this day still have goofy names. history repeats itself…
Well I learned something new. Apparently Jones is Anglo-Welsh
My last name is boring. German profession is where we get it from.
My last name Helwagen is spelled and said so many different ways. But the proper pronunciation is
Hel-vog-en. Ive been told its nordic and German because of the w acting like a v.
My last name is a literal holiday. Easterday and I get asked, especially around Easter time, if I like the fact that it’s Easter Day and I’ll just be like “Oh haha. Haven’t heard that one before”.
My last name is South German and Austrian. Most translations say it is the nickname of someone who yells a lot.
To be completely honest I have no idea where my family name origins come from. Father’s side is Novak, Mother’s side is Bock. I would just say I’m somewhat of a mix: German/English/Scottish
Some of these are funny. How do you get the name Forkbeard?
According to my grandparents my name is German but when people ask where I am from I focus more on the fact that I am Yugoslavian which is a way more interesting story.
My name refers to being “helper of men” or… “prophetess of destruction.” I will take both as a compliment. 🙂
I would have put my last name, but come on! It’s a generic English word. It’s origins come from the UK and that’s about all we know.
Jason means “to heal” and is from Greek. In Greek mythology Jason is the leader of the Argonauts.
Also my last name Marchewka means carrot in Polish
I was not sure what my last name meant so I looked it up.. It apparently comes from a place in England where the family resided…. Interesting
Ancestory.com says Tietz is a German last name that stems from a pet name and the personal name “Dietrich”
The idea of people having their names based off origins/achievements/etc. reminded me of Pizza The Hutt from Spaceballs. He has the name, because he is made of pizza.
Yeah, kind of like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
I looked up my last name to see what it meant and it is Gaelic for kindly or generous, but my last name would have been something different. It would have been O’Brien if things hadn’t worked out the way they had. ( And by the way O’Brien means eminence or exalted one
Grace means elegance or by unmerited favor of God. i really don’t fit my name, I’m very clumsy, not very graceful as most would say. I’d probably get the nickname “Grace the Graceless”