10 Men With Small Wieners

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A Brief History

On August 29, 1756, the Prussian army of Frederick the Great attacked Saxony, starting the 7 Years’ War.  “Fred” was just one of many famous men who had a small wiener… wiener dog that is, also known as a dachshund!  We’ve already listed 10 women who had wieners.  Here we list 10 men who were not intimidated by the (surely false) adage that people resemble their pets (I, too, have a miniature wiener… DOG!).

Digging Deeper

10. Andy Warhol, Strange Artist.

This man could paint a can of soup and make it look good.  Obviously a man of such talent would have to have a sophisticated pet to share his creativity with, and Warhol of course chose the noble dachshund.

9.  Marlon Brando, Actor/Legend.

Here Marlon Brando is young and svelte as he is pictured with his dachshund, but contrary to how it may appear, he later did NOT end up eating the dog, he just looked like he had.

8.  Pablo Picasso, Artist.

When you are the most famous artist on the planet during your own lifetime, you can have any dog you want, so go for the best.  Picasso did just that, and had his own little salchicha dog.  For those of you who are wondering what “salchicha” means, it is Spanish for sausage.

7.  Clint Eastwood, Actor/Director.

Before Clint became the “man who talked to empty chairs” at the 2012 Republican Convention, he was the “man who talked to dachshunds.”  Apparently, wiener dogs make his day.

6.  H.A. Rey, Author.

He is the “man with the yellow hat,” the author of the Curious George book series.  He and his wife also wrote about their dachshund, Pretzel.  (History and Headlines Note:  Pretzels were invented in Germany, the country of origin of the dachshund!)

5.  John F. Kennedy, U.S. President.

This guy had Marilyn Monroe for a pet and still found time for his dachshunds!  On an interesting side note, Marilyn owned a basset hound, a close relative of the dachshund.

4.  Mohandas Gandhi, Lawyer and Indian Nationalist.

Coming from a country where cows are sacred, we could count on the Mahatma to know which dog was sacred.

3.  John Wayne, American Icon.

Between the 6’4″ John Wayne and his fierce, one-foot-tall dachshund, Blackie, the two must have made a formidable team.  In fact, in the middle of the night, Blackie once saved the Duke and his family from a fire!

2.  Teddy Roosevelt, U.S. President.

Too bad stuffed teddy dachshunds were not named after him.  His dog Skip certainly looked cuddle-able enough.

1.  Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of the French.

Apparently old “Bony” did not feel the need to intimidate people with a big, ferocious Rottweiler or the like, however, it must be said that the short but ferocious and feisty dachshund and Napoleon do resemble each other somewhat.

And lastly, for all of you who want to see my wiener, here it is!:

The most special and precious Wiener-Dog in the world!

The most special and precious Wiener-Dog in the world!

This portrait was painted by Marta Gil-Vaz.  Should you also want your wiener painted, the following article instructs you how to contact Marta: “The Vet Clinic in the Gambia: Charity for Our Four-Legged, Furry Friends in Africa.”  It must also be noted that much of the proceeds go to the aforementioned charity.

Question for students (and subscribers): Have you ever owned a dachshund?  Please let us know in the comments section below this article.

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For another interesting event that happened on August 29, please see the History and Headlines article: “British Fleet Defeats Castilian Fleet at Winchelsea; Royal Navy: Masters of the Oceans from 1588-1942.”

Your readership is much appreciated!

Historical Evidence

For more information, please see…

Adamson, Eve.  Dachshunds for Dummies.  Eve Adamson, 2009.


About Author

Major Dan

Major Dan is a retired veteran of the United States Marine Corps. He served during the Cold War and has traveled to many countries around the world. Prior to his military service, he graduated from Cleveland State University, having majored in sociology. Following his military service, he worked as a police officer eventually earning the rank of captain prior to his retirement.