A Brief History
On March 28, 2017, we celebrate the New Moon by bringing you 10 of our favorite idiotic, goofy, funny, or wacky and wonderful country songs. We do not claim these are the weirdest ever made, but they are the ones that tickly our country funny bones. What songs would you add to the list? (BTW, do you know what you get if you play a country song backwards? You get your car, your house, your dog, and your wife back, and the train takes you home in reverse.)
10. “Bony Fingers”, Hoyt Axton, 1974.
Seriously, what do people expect if they work their fingers to the bone? Someone had to say it! Country music is often about hard life, and it don’t get no harder than this!
9. “Ode to the Little Brown Shack Out Back”, Bill Edd Wheeler, 1964.
Personally, I cannot imagine anyone fondly missing that stinking, cold, hot, wasp infested guest house, but apparently some people do. Bobby Bare had a hit with a remake of this eulogy to flushless toilets.
8. “I’d Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me (Than a Frontal Lobotomy)”, Dr. Randy Hanzlick, 1980.
The sad thing is, this song makes perfect sense when you listen to the lyrics. The original quote of the title may have been by Tom Waits in a tv interview in 1977, or perhaps by Dorothy Parker even earlier.
7. “Put Another Log on the Fire”, The Outlaws, 1975.
This is another somewhat misogynistic song, definitely laughs for men. All sorts of people and groups covered this classic. Kind of hints that men just don’t get it.
6. “I’ve Been Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Hear”, Johnny Cash, 1968.
(Honorable mention “One Piece at a Time”) One of the greatest country singers and someone not afraid to get silly. Cash could have his own wacky country music list!
5. “Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life”, Bobby Bare, 1976.
Before this song, I did not know Jesus even played football. (Who would he thank when his team wins?)
4. “You’re The Reason Our Kids are Ugly”, Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, 1978.
(Honorable mention to Conway Twitty, “She Only Bitches When She Breathes,” featuring the line, “She could turn a straight man gay…”) After wigs, toupees, hair weaves, Botox, plastic surgery, hair dye, implants, make-up, collagen injections, liposuction, and breast enlargement, why would anyone be surprised the kids do not look like the parents?
3. “Queen of the House”, Jody Miller, 1965.
The hilarious female response to “King of the Road,” Jody is no relation to Roger Miller! A beautiful voice and a ridiculous video to boot. Can you believe the Supremes actually covered this song and sang it all over the world!
2. “Boy Named Sue”, Johnny Cash, 1969 .
The most masterful from the master. Back in the 1960’s boys and girls were a bit more defined by names, clothes, hair and the like, at least at first.
1. “Between Lust and Watching TV”, Cal Smith, 1974 .
The song is funny to men, perhaps not so much to women. Every time I hear it I think I would be afraid to write it and suffer the retaliation from my wife…
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