A Brief History
This article presents a timeline of The Dark Ages!
Prologue
On September 28, 235, Pope Pontian became the first pope to resign his office, only to live out his days exiled to the mines of Sardinia!
On September 25th, Catholics remember the death of Spanish Saint Fermin, the first bishop of Pamplona, in 303 A.D…and the miracles that followed!
On October 27, 312, the night before the Battle of Milvian Bridge against the Roman Emperor Maxentius, the Emperor Constantine the Great adopted as his motto the Greek phrase “ἐν τούτῳ νίκα” after having a vision of a Christogram in the sky.
On September 14, 326, Helena of Constantinople made one of the greatest discoveries in Christian history when she discovered the location of the Holy Sepulchre (the crypt where Jesus was entombed) and the True Cross in Jerusalem.
Digging Deeper
On May 31, 455, Western Roman Emperor Petronius Maximus was stoned to death by an angry mob.
On March 10, 483, the Bishop of Rome, Pope Simplicius, died after a 15 year reign on “the Throne of St. Peter.”
On August 28, 489, the king of the Ostrogoths, Theodoric, defeated the forces under Odoacer, King of Italy, at the Battle of Isonzo, thus opening the route into the heart of Italy.
On November 14th, the Orthodox Church celebrates Saint Theodora who once spanked a man after he talked trash about his own wife!
On October 4, 610, Heraclius arrived by ship from Africa at Constantinople, overthrew Byzantine Emperor Phocas on one of the most badass coups in history, and became Emperor.
On August 28, 632, Fatimah bint Muhammad, the youngest and possibly the only daughter of the Islamic Prophet Muhammad, beloved by Muhammad and by Muslims throughout the world, died under disputed circumstances.
On May 30, 727, we mourn the passing of one of the great characters in history, one of our favorite Saints, Saint Hubert, also known as Hubertus, the first bishop of Liège in what is now Belgium.
On October 19, 727, Saint Frithuswith, also spelled Frideswide, passed away after a king made a disastrous decision to try to marry her!
On May 3, 752, the Mayan King Bird Jaguar IV began his reign. Not only do we not know what the heck a bird jaguar is, but there were three of them before this one! On April 23 we told you people used to have goofy names. Well, they still do, coming up with new ones all the time.
On September 24, 787, church leaders of the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church met at the Church of Hagia Sophia in Iznik, province of Nicaea ( province of Bursa in modern Turkey) in a conference known as the Second Council of Nicaea.
On August 29, 798 (AD), Japan minted copper coins for the first time in their history.
On September 14, 919, a united coalition of native Irish fought an epic battle against the Dublin based Vikings that had colonized Ireland, a battle known as Battle of Islandbridge.
On November 7, 921, the Treaty of Bonn was signed by 2 Frankish kings, Charles the Simple and Henry the Fowler.
On October 27, 939, King Æthelstan of England died, the throne then going to his half-brother, Edmund I.
On November 6, 963, Holy Roman Emperor Otto I called a council in Rome to depose the current Pope, John XII, on charges of leading an armed rebellion against Otto, as well as conducting his secular affairs in a corrupt and immoral manner.
On June 11, 980, Vladimir the Great was proclaimed the ruler of all Kievan Rus’, having consolidated an empire consisting of the lands from what is now Ukraine in the East to the Baltic Sea in the West, the White Sea in the North, and to the Black Sea in the South.
On August 10th or 11th, 991, a Viking invasion of England resulted in The Battle of Maldon, fought in Essex near the River Blackwater.
On November 13, 1002, English king Æthelred II the Unready ordered the killing of all Danes in England, known today as the St. Brice’s Day massacre.
On April 12, 1012, Jaromir, Duke of Bohemia, was deposed by the Duke Oldřich of Bohemia.
On April 23, 1016, Edmund Ironside was crowned King of England, replacing his father Aethelred the Unready.
On November 30 1016, Edmund Ironside, also known as Edmund II or even Ēadmund Isernside (in Old English), was murdered on his “throne,” stabbed to death multiple times as he attended to “business.”
On July 10, 1040, Lady Godiva is supposed to have ridden naked on horseback to force her husband, the Earl of Mercia, to lower taxes. Since Lady Godiva’s legendary ride, many other women have made great impressions on culture, society and history mainly because they were in the buff.
On May 19, 1051, Anne of Kiev, also known as Anna Yaroslavna, married the King of France, Henry I.
On September 28, 1066, a warrior leader known as William the Bastard invaded England from Normandy in what is now France. Perhaps you know him better as William the Conqueror, a much catchier name.
On October 14, 1066, the Normans under William the Conqueror defeated the English at the Battle of Hastings. This date is one that you might find on a high school or college history test, or perhaps on the television trivia show, Jeopardy. Certain battles in history are associated with a date (or a particular year) that many people remember or are reminded of, regardless of the importance of the battle.
On April 11, 1079, Bishop Stanislaus of Kraków, Poland, later Saint Stanislaus, was executed either by the order of or perhaps by the direct hand of King Bolesław II of Poland.
On October 17, 1091, a tornado with a strength thought to be about T8/F4, which means a severely devastating tornado with winds over 200 miles per hour, struck the heart of London, England.
On December 12, 1098, in what is now Syria, Crusaders massacred 20,000 Muslims and ate some of them!
On July 15, 1099, during the First Crusade, Christian soldiers take the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem after the final assault of a difficult siege.
On February 15, 1113, the reigning Pope of the Catholic Church, Pope Paschal II, issued a Papal Bull titled “Pie Postulatio Voluntatis,” recognizing the Order of Hospitallers, a military order of Catholic knights that had existed in the Holy Land since about 1099.
On September 21, 1170, invading Normans, Vikings that had settled in France, captured the Kingdom of Dublin and established their own Irish kingdom replacing a previous Viking kingdom in Ireland from the 9th Century called Dyflin.
On July 18, 1290, King Edward I of England, also known as “Edward Longshanks” or alternatively “The Hammer of the Scots,” issued the Edict of Expulsion, a royal decree ordering all Jews out of England.
Epilogue
On March 28, 1930, the Turkish cities of Constantinople and Angora changed their names to Istanbul and Ankara. You may remember Constantinople as the capital of the Eastern Roman Empire and the capital of the Ottoman Empire (as well as the Latin Empire and Byzantine Empire), but if you are not familiar with Angora/Ankara you are hereby informed that this city is the capital of Turkey. Many cities, countries, and even regions have undergone name changes throughout history for many different reasons.
On July 5, 2009, in an English field near the village of Hammerwich, a man looking for curios with a metal detector in a freshly plowed field found gold and silver objects dating back to the 7th Century.
Question for students (and subscribers): Were the Dark Ages really that “dark”? Please let us know in the comments section below this article.
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Historical Evidence
For more information, please see…
Oman, Charles. The Dark Ages – Book I of III. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2017.
Wickham, Chris. The Inheritance of Rome: Illuminating the Dark Ages 400-1000 (The Penguin History of Europe). Penguin Books, 2010.
<span class="dsq-postid" data-dsqidentifier="4454 http://www.crackedhistory.com/?p=4454">27 Comments
December, 12, 1098 the Crusades, that to me was my favorite topic in Ancient History last year. Its also very cool to talk about cities that still exist today like, Jerusalem, Alexandria, and Damascus.
NICHOLAS BANNER
October, 17, 1091 the tornados that hit London were very interesting. This stood out because nature was a factor in shaping history. J.K.
July 10th 1040 : I think Lady Godiva was an interesting personality, because despite her elite status, she did something as radical as nude horseback riding to try to better the lives of her people. It’s interesting in contrast to Marie Antoinette, because she simply ignored the hardships of her people, and continued to ride the high horse until she was killed.
Oh my…no pun intended with the horses thing…
I found it interesting that William the conquerer was also called “William the bastard”. This is a fact they leave out in high school. -BLB
I found it interesting that William the conquerer was also known as “William the Bastard”. This is a fact they don’t teach you in high school. -BLB
Being interested (while not overtly so) in conspiracies and secrete societies, et. al., July 15, 1099 peaked my interest the most. All of the mystery surrounding Solomon’s Tomb and the Templars excites my mind due to the unknown and skepticism it can create about the “truth” of historical events. Cannibalism takes a close second.
December 12, 1098 The Crusades. I find this the most interesting because of the connection to the church. The stark contrast between what the church teaches and the murder that occurred during this event is fascinating.
After reading about all of the topics above I found that on the day of November 13, 1002, the English king ordered the killing of all Danes in England. This day is now known as St. Brice’s Day Massacre. In 991 the English King had to pay tributes to the Danish King. Eventually the English King took matters into his own hands and is known for the genocide of all Danish men in England. Denmark’s King’s sister and her husband are possible victims of the St. Brice’s Day Massacre. Blake H.
I find that the crusades to be very interesting to myself. The crusaders that killed 20,000 muslims and even ate some of them on December 12 just shows how barbaric these crusades really were.
I found Lady Godiva’s naked horseback ride to her husband, Earl of Mercia, to make him lower taxes the most interesting event. It can relate to recent events where women have been protesting for certain movements and reasons while also being naked.
September 28, 235, the first time a Roman Catholic Pope resigns office. This event is interesting because very few Popes have ever resigned from office. The latest occurrence happened in 2013 with Pope Benedict XVI resigning. It is interesting how we can relate the events in 2013 to 235.
After reading all the events listed above, I found July 10 1040 Lady Godiva supposedly rode naked on on a horse just to make her husband into lowering taxes most intriguing. I was awestruck after reading the entire story. That Lady Godiva’s husband, the Earl of Mercia, jokingly suggested she belittle herself for the sake of other who were lower than them. It was like a punch to the face when she was determined to do exactly that. It was a charitable but embarrassing act for a woman of the higher class to do for the sake of others less fortunate.
Cassie B.
The crusades were the most interesting to me. Generally the crusades aren’t considered to be barbaric and brutal, but the article clearly shows differently
The Massacre of 20,000 Muslims in 1098 found to be very interesting to me. When clicking on the link I was not surprised to find out that the Crusaders considered Muslims to be pagans. I find it interesting that the Crusaders did not believe Muslims deserved the same rights as the Christians. This intrigued me because of the similarities to how Muslims are currently treated in the United States. Though we are not eating them many have been killed and harassed due to people believing that they do not have the same rights as non-Muslims.
I found it interesting that on September 14, 326 A.D., Helena of Constantinople found the crypt of Christ, and the True Cross in Jerusalem. The most intriguing part was testing the three crosses to find out which one held the body of Christ. Helena had a dying woman touch all of them, and when she touched the third cross, the woman began to miraculously recover! That is incredible!
“Lady Godiva is supposed to have ridden naked on horseback to force her husband, the Earl of Mercia, to lower taxes” is a pretty cool fact. Knowing that she stood up to her husband and stood up for others is interesting.
I found it fascinating that on October 19th 727 A.D., Saint Frithuswith the same day as the king trying to force marriage on her. King Algar searched for her all over the place and as he did in one version he went blind when no one would help him search. In the other version he died from falling off his horse and breaking his neck. It just goes to show you that you shouldn’t pursue anyone that isn’t interested in you back or it won’t work out in your favor. O.E
I found it interesting that on July 10, 1040 Lady Godiva had ridden a horse naked, to force him husband to lower taxes. It’s nice knowing that she cared about other people.
On July 10, 1040 where lady Godiva road horse back naked to lower taxes, was pretty funny and interesting. Women now a days are still doing crazy things to protest and get their point across, 1000 years later ams no
On July 10, 1040 where lady Godiva road horse back naked to lower taxes, was pretty funny and interesting. Women now a days are still doing crazy things to protest and get their point across, 1000 years later and we still have to go to extreme measures just to be heard.
I think one of the more interesting events is when Lady Godiva, on July 10, 1040, rode on her horse naked to protest her husband to lower taxes for everyone. That event really may have seemed silly and stupid back then but is a huge thing now because people are still fighting and protesting for equal and fair rights still almost 1000 years later.
I thought it was interesting that “William the conquerer” was also known as “William the Bastard”. I had learned a little about him in school but I never knew he was known as William the bastard.
What I thought was interesting was when Petronius Maximus got stoned to death by an angry mob. How did the Roman Emperor get stoned and for what reason.
Yuppppp
I thought the tornado going through London England was interesting
I found the Mayan king with the name Bird Jaguar the Fourth was to me the most interesting. I find it even better that he had predecessors with the same name. I want to meet someone with that name today.