10 People Who Should Never Reproduce

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A Brief History

On March 5, 1953, Joseph Stalin, one of modern history’s most evil world leaders, died.  His relationships with his children were downright disturbing at times.  Indeed, this family is proof that certain people should not reproduce for the safety and betterment of mankind.   At least we can be glad that some of history’s other idiots did not.  Here 10 people who either never reproduced or should not have are listed. (Note: We do not advocate eugenics!)

Digging Deeper

10. Joseph Stalin.

Stalin, the Soviet dictator who had the longest reign of any Soviet leader,  was a brutal and paranoid man who caused the deaths of tens of millions and made many more millions suffer.  He did reproduce, but thankfully only 1 of his 3 children was not so good.  The first boy, Yakov, died in German captivity during World War II when Stalin refused to swap prisoners for him (thanks, Dad) because Stalin had suspected Yakov of surrendering on purpose.  The second son, Vasily, became a Soviet general but had a series of mishaps that included: causing a bomber to crash when he ordered an aerial demonstration in bad weather; the loss of the entire Soviet Air Force ice hockey team in a plane crash; and revealing classified information at a foreign dinner. Vasily died of alcoholism at the age of 41, 2 years after release from prison.  Stalin’s daughter, Svetlana, had a rocky relationship with Daddy who was aloof and perhaps abusive.  She defected to the U.S. in 1967, causing a scandal, but returned to the USSR in 1984.

9. Al “Scarface” Capone.

Al “Scarface” Capone sired Al “Sonny” Jr. in 1918, and the poor baby was born with congenital syphilis for which he required a brain operation.  The surgery must have gone well because other than some deafness, the infant recovered to live to age 85.  After changing his last name to Brown as an adult to avoid the stigma and by staying out of the crime world, Junior defied the odds. 

8. China and India.

Nothing against either of these peoples, as they have both contributed great people to mankind, but there are just too many of them!  With over 7 billion people, the earth is already being stretched to the limits, and about a third of the world population lives in these 2 countries alone!  If they would take a break from reproducing, the prospect of mankind having a future would be greatly enhanced.

7. Marilyn Manson and Lady Gaga.

Manson, a product of Canton, Ohio, was formerly in a relationship with the beautiful Rose McGowan, which might have been ok, but combining this bizarro with Lady Gaga might produce children too weird even for rock and roll!  Although this pair is not known to have any romantic inclinations, Manson did appear in Lady Gaga’s 2009 song LoveGame, too close for our comfort!  Can you imagine kids who looked like Manson but wearing a meat dress?

6. Deletionists.

Among the most hated people on the internet are electronic book burners known as deletionists.   These individuals devote their time to trying to remove as many articles from popular websites, such as Wikipedia, as possible.  They typically use bullying tactics against other editors and such nefarious means as creating multiple bogus accounts on websites to make it appear that they have more support for their stances than they actually have.  For more information, please read  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-pavley/wikipedia-and-the-hidden-_b_1673412.html and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Leonard_G.#Concerning_Deletionists

5. Edward “Blackbeard” Teach.

The most famous pirate in history, Blackbeard was ferocious and ruthless.  In the 19th century, he terrorized the Carolina coast and the Caribbean.  Though married once, unless the rumors of his 13 or more common law wives are true, he had no children.  If he did have kids, they have been lost to history.  In fact, his real last name might have been Thatch or even Drummond, and he even have been Dutch rather than English.  When he died in 1818, it was “Like a Boss” as it took about 15 bullets and 20 sword wounds to bring him down.  Once finally dead, his head was chopped off and his body thrown in the sea.  It was reported that his headless body swam around the boat 3 times!  We definitely do not need this guy reproducing!

4. Mark David Chapman.

Chapman, a career loony-toon who talked to “little people” and had a history of mental illness, had married his travel agent only a year before murdering former Beatle John Lennon.  Thankfully, during this time period, this waste of space did not manage to pass along his DNA.

3. Ted Bundy.

One of the most evil serial killers of the 20th century, Bundy kidnapped, tortured, murdered and raped 36 or more women.  He even went so far as to have sex with the dead bodies.  His only marriage came during his last trial when he declared in open court his marriage to Carole Ann Boone who agreed to it right then and there.  Bundy had taken advantage of an obscure Florida law that a marriage declaration made in court, in the presence of a judge, constituted a legal marriage.   A few years later, despite the fact that conjugal visits in prison were forbidden, Boone managed to become pregnant and gave birth to a girl before Bundy was executed in 1986.

2. Charles Manson.

Did you know this psychopath and cult leader had children?  At least three.  Having those genes out there is scary and depressing.  We hope those people take after the other side of the family (which might not be such a good thing, either.)  Manson currently rots in prison for ordering multiple murders in an attempt to initiate a race war that he thought Blacks would “win” but require his “expertise” to rule them afterward.

1. Adolf Hitler.

The epitome of the evil dictator, this despot did not marry until right before killing himself.  Lucky for us, to our knowledge he did not reproduce.   Also lucky for us, the Soviets destroyed his remains which means that mad scientists cannot even clone him today.  Thank goodness!

Question for students (and subscribers): Do you think there are too many people on our planet?  Please let us know in the comments section below this article.

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Historical Evidence

For more information, please see…

Oakley Ph.D, Barbara.  Evil Genes: Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriend.  Prometheus, 2008.

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About Author

Abdul Alhazred

“But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad." "How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland