A Brief History
On June 12, 1987, Emperor Bokassa, former leader of the Central African Empire, was sentenced to death for atrocities during his reign of 13 years. At least he was acquitted of cannibalism! Goofy leaders like Bokassa have appeared throughout history and continue to appear. Here we list 10 such buffoons, people of massive egos, incredible cruelty, sub-standard intellect, or just plain old buffoonery. We are talking about goofs that could just as easily be a cartoon character villain. These guys have pictures of themselves all over their country, statues, too. Sometimes they declare themselves a god or claiming god-like qualities, cover themselves in medals and ridiculous titles, but are insecure enough to stamp out all dissent. (Honorable mention to Vladimir Putin of Russia.)
Digging Deeper
10. Robert Ford, Toronto.
Okay, Toronto is not a country, although it is Canada’s most populous city and does have more people than several sovereign states, but in any case, how could we omit this buffoon? The mayor of perhaps the most vibrant city in North America, Ford has been caught on video smoking crack cocaine, accused of sexual impropriety and has engaged in drunken buffoonery worthy of a frat brother about to be expelled. Still, despite having his authority legislated to almost nothing, his ego will not allow him to resign and he remains as an embarrassment to Toronto and to Canada.
9. Muammar Qadaffi, Libya.
Dressing himself up in a military uniform with a ton of medals he never earned, apparently no one ever told him the afro hairstyle went out with the 1970’s. Later in life he took to wearing ornate native costume, still looking like a cartoon character. Of course, his idea of “Islamic Socialism” meant that he was the sole authority in his country. One of the goofy titles he gave himself was “Brother Leader.“ Like many buffoons, Muammar suffered an ignominious demise, overthrown, beaten, and having a bayonet shoved up his butt on video for the world to see. (By the way, spell his name any way you want, there are many variations.)
8. Pol Pot, Cambodia.
More like “Crack Pot,” this buffoon was the dictator of Cambodia for only about 3 years, but managed to kill a fourth of the population. Conducting a decades long campaign to overthrow the Cambodian government, Pot (or Saloth Sar, his birth name) brutally murdered intellectuals and government officials on his way to power. Once in total control, Pot had thousands of people burned alive, and emptied the cities of population, moving them to the country to work in agriculture. He got rid of money, made all religion illegal, and persecuted people of Chinese or Vietnamese ethnicity. This psychopath differed from the others listed here by not engaging in any cult worship of himself, as he kept himself more aloof from the masses. In conflict with Viet Nam during his reign, he was overthrown by Viet Nam in 1979 and died in Thailand in 1998 shortly after hearing he would be tried by an international tribunal.
7. Nero, Rome.
(Actual name: Nero Claudius Caesar Drusus Augustus Germanicus) Like our other buddies listed here, Nero had his quirks. A persecutor of Christians, he is said to have had Christians burned in his garden to provide illumination at night. Among his many executions was his own mother’s and his first wife‘s, and he poisoned his brother to death, apparently not a family man. He also is suspected of having his brother murdered and conspired with his mother to have his father murdered. His mother was the niece of his father, and Nero married his own step-sister, so perhaps he was a family man after all. His family credentials included having Caligula as an uncle. Nero also had a young man castrated and married him supposedly because he looked like his 2nd wife who had died. Nero is reputed to have “fiddled” (fiddles did not exist) while Rome burned in a fire he is rumored to have set. He was so bad, some religious scholars believe he was the Anti-Christ.
6. Mao Zedong, China.
With pictures of Chairman Mao everywhere in China and his “little red book” with his sayings distributed like a holy book, Mao filled the role of the typical buffoon leader, massive ego and developing a cult around himself. His idiotic policies resulted in millions of people starved and possibly millions more murdered. When he had cats declared bourgeoisie, rats started to overrun China causing cats to once again become part of the proletariat. Mao once threatened the West by saying he could have all 1 billion Chinese jump at the same time and thus throw the world off kilter. Mao is responsible for the death of millions of Chinese, the exact number impossible to calculate, but in the range of Stalin and Hitler or more. Additionally, his agricultural policies as part of The Great Leap Forward (1958-1962) was such a disaster that perhaps 30 million Chinese starved. In the aftermath, Mao came up with another distraction for the people, The Cultural Revolution. This created chaos that cost another million or more Chinese lives, but the distraction worked and Mao stayed in power. Altogether, Mao is possibly responsible for more human death than any person in history.
5. Hitler, Germany.
This weirdo took megalomania to an extreme and saw himself as the savior of Germany. A vegetarian and hypochondriac, he had a possibly incestuous relationship with a cousin and at least 2 of his lovers killed themselves as did his only wife. Besides starting World War II, he was a racist and bigot, had millions of people murdered, and in typical buffoon fashion blamed everyone else for his own blunders. When the war appeared lost he tried his best to have Germany destroyed along with himself, saying the German people were not worthy. Hitler fostered a cult about himself, having officers swear loyalty to him instead of to Germany and replacing the bible with his own book, Mein Kampf.
4. Jean-Bedel Bokassa, Central African Empire.
When he decided to declare himself emperor, he held a coronation that nearly bankrupted his entire country. He ordered school children to wear uniforms produced in a factory that he owned, and massacred those who did not purchase and wear the uniforms. Bokassa banned tom-tom playing during the daytime (what?) and also banned begging. He required citizens to show proof of employment, imprisoning or fining the unemployed. He is said to have carved up an official that attempted a coup de etat with a razor (or knife) and having the man’s back beaten until the spine was smashed. Although he was sentenced to death when France led a coup against him, his sentence was commuted life, then changed again to 20 years, and he was released after only 5 years. After his release, he claimed to be the 13th Apostle (of Christ) and claimed to meet secretly with the Pope. He died 3 years after release.
3. Caligula, Rome.
If the stories told about this Roman emperor are true, he murdered his way onto the throne, put a horse in the Roman senate, and forced the wives of senators into prostitution to raise money for the government. Bloodthirsty and bizarre in the extreme, he is one of those claiming divinity for himself, and would appear in public dressed as various gods. Among a long history of really bad Roman emperors prone to excess, Caligula (actual name Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus) is the worst of the worst. Initially quite popular, his 4 year reign was so bad that he was assassinated. He is famous for his sexual perversity (having sex with any married woman he desired) and killing people without trial. In order to raise money he accused rich senators and officials of embezzlement and seize their assets. Another money making scheme was to auction the lives of gladiators, and he is said to have had an entire section of spectators thrown into the arena to be eaten by animals.
2. Idi Amin, Uganda.
A cartoon character to say the least, this goof challenged the Queen of England to a boxing match and is said to have eaten his enemies. He killed untold thousands of his own people and tried to play the big shot when an airliner filled with Israeli citizens was hijacked and flown to Uganda, getting his country and his air force shot up in the process. A raving lunatic detached from reality, Amin spent the last 24 years of his life in exile, escaping the punishment he richly deserved. He even declared himself “Conqueror of the British Empire” for no apparent reason, among his dozens of other self bestowed titles, one more comical than the next. He is believed to have suffered brain damage from syphilis or perhaps just being a nut. Saturday Night Live repeatedly made fun of him.
1. Kim Jong Il, North Korea.
This guy got the job from his father and took the whole cult of personality thing to a new level. Ruling the most closed society on earth, Kim claims to never have to use the bathroom, golfed only once but got a bunch of holes in one, invented the hamburger, and a host of other idiotic things. He even maintained a model city with no residents to show the world what a great place North Korea is. The kind of place it is, is starving, although they have developed nuclear weapons. Looking at a satellite photo of the earth at night shows other countries lit up by electric lights and a starkly dark North Korea. The best thing that can be said about him is that he died before he caused World War III. The worst thing you can say about him is he left his idiot son, Kim Jong-un in charge when he died.
Question for students (and subscribers): Who else would you add to the list? Please let us know in the comments section below this article.
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Historical Evidence
For more information on buffoons in politics, please see…
Newell, Gordon R. Rogues, Buffoons & Statesmen: the inside story of Washington’s capital city and the hilarious history of 120 years of state politics. Hangman Press, 1975.
<span class="dsq-postid" data-dsqidentifier="2566 http://www.crackedhistory.com/?p=2566">38 Comments
The writer of this made it to major? That says an awful lot about the US military. Maybe get someone with an education to proof read before posting any more articles.
Aussie, Okay, maybe a preposition or two was missing here or there, and I did come across at least one grammatical run-on, but it definitely does not warrant insulting the author! I found he did an entertaining job! And, please, do not make such generalizations about the entire US military; Not all officers are pen pushers anyway!
I would say Nero was worse than Caligula for one reason…. He killed many of his own family. However, both were horrible rulers and I would never wish to live in Rome under their rule.
I would have to say that Caligula was worse than Nero as an emperor just because it only took him four years to convince his own guards to kill him while Nero at least managed to pacify the people long enough to rule for 14 years.
Nero was the worse between the two. He went as far as even killing his own family. That’s just terrible
With some of the most unusual means of torture and death, Nero and Caligula used their power to destroy their enemies. What makes them crazy are the reasons they thought those people were their enemies. It seems like they made up conspiracy stories just to think up a new way to have someone killed.
I would say nero because the murdering of his family and his loved ones, after all family comes first and i guess back then, nero simply didn’t give a shit hahha.
It’s crazy how some of these people come into power. You would think that someone would stop them, but I guess you really don’t know how insane they are until they come into power.
In my Opinion Nero was the worse of the two. He did so much harm in such a short period of time
Both Nero and Caligula were horrible leaders but the latter had people thrown in the stadium to be eaten because it was fun. What a sick way to have fun by torturing your own people.
I think Nero was the worse between him and Caligula. It seemed as though he was a lot more ruthless. Nero resorted to killing his family, which is definitely too far.
Although both terrible leaders, I would say Caligula was a way worse “buffoon” of a leader than Nero. Not only did he claim to be a divine being, he strongly opposed these statements by doing things like making senator’s wives prostitutes, committing adultery and of course being a ruthless person.
Although they were both horrible leaders, I believe that Nero was the worse “buffoon”. He went as far as killing his family and allegedly burning Christians to light his garden. Being Caligula’s nephew, Nero was doomed to be an awful leader.
For the 7th and 3rd entries, the rulers of Rome seem to be two of the worst in Roman empire history. They come from the same family, so it seems like they share the same views. They do seem to be bad rulers. They persecuted so many people. Nero seemed to be worse than Caligula, who, however, was a really bad leader as well. Nero murdered his family and murdered many other people as well. Caligula seemed to have social problems however. Both are bad leaders though.
I believe that Nero was the worse emperor of the two the
reason for that is because he killed his own family.
Between Caligula and Nero, I’d say Caligula definitely messed up the place more. Throwing spectators to the lions is just sickening.
In most of these cases, especially those pertaining to Roman emperors, there needed to be a ruler, and one was put in place before anyone really knew who they were. In these cases, the situations caused by these emperors could likely have been prevented by some background checks.
I believe Nero was the worse emperor because he killed members of his family and used prisoners as candles, Caligula was just nuts with castrating a man because he reminded Caligula of his wife and outing his horse in the senate.
I think that Nero is the worse emperor, because he not only killed innocent people, but even his own family such as his wife and mother.
It really is amazing that Nero and Caligula held office for as long as they did. A good leader does not kill his own family or prostitute married women. It is a shame that the Roman public did not come to their senses sooner about these two men.
Caligula was easily the worst in my eyes. It amazes me how crazy he was and how long he was able to stay in power before he was over thrown.
It seems like Caligula and Nero both were terrible rulers. It’s amazing to think that they would been able to rule acting like that. No matter who someone is they should never be able to treat people the way they did.
Between Nero and Caligula, it seems that Caligula truly was the worse emperor. I think this can be shown through the fact that he was only on the throne for 4 years before the people could bare him any longer and assassinated him. Obviously both of them were terrible human beings, but Caligula is the clear cut choice of the worst emperor between the two in my opinion. Committing acts of adultery, accusing rich head officials of embezzlement to steal their assets, and killing people without trial are all characteristics of an extreme emperor.
It seems that Rome ran into one terrible emperor after another. Of course, two of the worst ones in history are Caligula and Nero. Between the two two, Caligula was definitely worse. It’s hard to believe that a ruler would actually throw innocent people into the arena full of lions to be eaten. It’s seems that he had no connections, which surprises me that he wasn’t overthrown sooner.
Caligula was probably the more demanding and more cruel leader that Nero, but it is close. Nero killed more or less for sole power of the empire and he wanted no one to get in his way, but Caligula killed just because he had the power and did other acts because of who he was. This was probably the back bone to him being assassinated.
If Nero existed today he would probably be tried for crimes against humanity and I would suspect that other countries would wage war against him to get him out of power.
Michael corleone looks like he took a page out of nero’s book with the murder of his brother. The exploits of Caligula are so horrible that it comes across as fantasy. Hard to believe someone was that bad
I believe thar Caligula was worse because he not only thought to kill people but that it was fun to throw them in a lions pitfor fun. Completly crazy
Between Caligula and Nero… I would have to say that Nero was the worst out of the two! There are so many awful people in this world… but anyone who has his own family killed is on the top of my list! — DAVID WARDLE
I think one idiot begot another idiot, and still happens today.
Can’t even Imagine what it would be like to live in the environment under some of these rulers… Scary
I think the Nero was the worst. It’s one thing to kill someone, but to burn people alive to light your garden. To me is just gross. I am a Christian, so to kill people because they are a Christian is just plain wrong to me. The list was interesting.
I can’t see an article with Ford and not face palm in disgust. The man is a fool and has gained notoriety for his idiocy.
Nero, was by far the strangest and worst of all leaders….. He actually had a man castrated and married him… This is strange to think of a roman emperor to do this.
Caligula was pretty gross, but I’m going to have to say that Nero was the worst between the two. Although Caligula was really perverse sexually and otherwise, he didn’t cause a massive amount of Civil War and political trauma to Rome like Nero did. I feel like Nero did not handle the disasters to Rome in the correct way at all and his self centered behavior actually did massive amounts of political damage to Rome in the long term.
It’s really hard to decide as to whether Nero or Caligula was the better Roman leader. I guess I would say Nero since he wasn’t assassinated for being such a terrible ruler.
Caligula was off his rocker. How he stayed in power for so long is beyond me, I would have thrown his butt out after he fed people to lions, thats so disgusting and makes my stomach churn.
I think Caligula was a worse emperor because not only did he murder a bunch of people but he also dis many bizarre things such as putting a horse in the senate.