A Brief History
On December 31, 1695, a tax on windows went into effect in England, which resulted in many people boarding up or bricking up their windows so that they would not be subject to the tax.
In a never-ending quest to take every penny, farthing, ruble, peseta, pfennig, shekel and sou from every last working person, governments all around the world show unlimited ingenuity when it comes to dreaming up things to tax, no matter how stupid.
Digging Deeper
Russia made a bid for a spot in this article by passing a tax on beards in 1698, which was an effort to force Russians to look more westernized. Why not just look like Russians? It is not like the rest of the world was fooled!
Americans have never been happy about taxes. Back when the United States was still the Colonies, the people of Boston held their famous “Tea Party” to show their displeasure over the British tea tax.
Licenses are often nothing but fancy taxes. In some American states, one must have a license in order to ride a bike or own a dog. Heck, Durham North Carolina flat out has a dog tax; $75 if the canine is not spayed or neutered. Speaking of license, why do we pay as much for the car registration stickers as we did for new plates to begin with?
In Ohio, food “to go” is not taxed, but food consumed on the premises is, which does not make sense. Even more confusing, soft drinks used to be considered non-taxable food when bought “to go” but have been taxed for several years now anyway.
Utah, the closest thing to a theocracy in the United States, levies a 10% tax on nudity, full or partial, when used to help attract customers. California has done its part to ruin the health of its citizens by imposing a 33% tax on fruit from vending machines (but not from bins or counters). New York City is famous for its food, especially for the food bought in its coffee shops and delis, but an 8-cent tax is imposed on bagels that are sliced, whereas there is no surcharge if the bagel is not sliced in two. Spread my cream cheese on the top, please!
In an effort to trump up charges against people caught in the possession of or selling drugs, many states (perhaps 20) have taxes on illegal drugs. Great, so now we can crowd the jails even more. Arkansas has a special tax for tattoos and piercings, while Maine has its own unique penny-and-a-half tax for every pound of blueberries sold. (Who passed that, Senator Cranberry?)
For crying out loud even unemployment payments are taxed! Morons (ok, that is a bit harsh, how about “misguided people?”) across the country have voted for taxes to build stadiums so that billionaire sports team owners and millionaire athletes can continue to rake in the dough while the average citizen foots the bill. Some of these taxes are slyly called “sin” taxes, and are levied on alcohol and cigarettes, which, of course, hurts poorer people disproportionately.
Today’s money hungry politicians even want to tax the internet. In many states, they already tax internet sales, but now they also want to tax usage as well. Why not, they probably figure? There are already taxes on cable television.
Raise the gas tax and solve the energy crisis! (Or just ruin all non-rich people.) Keep out imports with higher tariffs. Legalize pot just so we can tax it! I have to go now, so I can buy my lottery tickets. I support our schools, you know…
Question for students (and subscribers): Are there any taxes that you do not think should exist? Please let us know in the comments section below this article.
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Historical Evidence
For more information, please see…
Adams, Charles. For Good and Evil: The Impact Of Taxes On The Course Of Civilization, 2Nd Edition. Madison Books, 2001.
<span class="dsq-postid" data-dsqidentifier="7286 http://www.crackedhistory.com/?p=7286">53 Comments
It is really crazy the things they will come up with to tax. I had to laugh at the one in NY where a sliced bagel is taxed but not taxed if it isn’t sliced. What’s the point?
It’s ridiculous how people are trying to tax on the internet. I remember my class talked about how beards were once taxed and the rich had a tax on their doors. Taxes always seem to be overexaggerated whether in the past or the present.
Some of these taxes just seem so ridiculous! The ones that really stood out to me were how a sliced bagel was taxed and how there is a tax on dogs who are not spayed or neutered.
As far as the “to go” tax, that is why I always order my chipotle to go even if I plan on eating it at chipotle.
I couldn’t believe some of the taxes listed here. Especially New York with their sliced bagel tax. That’s just ridiculous if you ask me.
I hate paying taxes. The government always is looking for new ways to take from us.
There are veyr few taxes that don’t seem silly to me.
Everyone hates taxes but we have to deal with them or otherwise there will be consequences
A flush tax? That’s ridiculous
These are actually funny. I didn’t know Ohio was the only place where restaurants had a “dine-in” tax. That always pisses me off at restaurants. I guess we have it better than a non-neutered dog tax.
I get the importance of taxes but some, like the ones listed here, are just ridiculous! They usually are so disproportionate that they end up benefitting those who do not need it and hurting those who do. Unfortunately, it seems that as long as those in power benefit, we will not see a positive change.
The beard tax is still one of my favorites.
Taxes within professional sports are comical….professional tennis players such as Novak Djokavic hold residence in Monte Carlo just to avoid paying taxes to their home countries, even though they may not spend much time there.
Taxing internet usage would be outrageous
Tax on the internet is ridiculous. Politicians are trying to rein in the internet with net neutrality and tax bills, but I believe they will not succeed because there will be to much of a push back from the public.
Taxes are essential, so I guess its just finding the correct balance of what to tax
Taxes are apart of daily life but some of the things they were taxing back than were a little crazy. I mean they were taxing based on nudity
A few weeks ago I read an article proposing a new tax on oil produced in the U.S. in a industry already hurting badly from low gas prices it would cost the oil companies more money to produce than they could sell if for! Seems like another stupid tax to me that would just hurt those hard workers even more!
Wow a tax on windows, bikes, and dogs. Geez that’s crazy. I would have lot of taxes because I love dogs. I would be protesting some of those taxes. I understand they have to make some money but some of those things are a little ridiculous.
I think taxes are needed to maintain our society but our government doesn’t use our tax money properly. Nor is a lot of things taxed fairly. The tax on the fruit from vending machines is insane, way to help obesity America!
Taxes are needed to support government but i love how 90% of tge time it comes down to greedy people being greedy
Taxing internet use just sounds ridiculous.
The author was not being too harsh when he used “Morons”. The government is tax happy.
Taxes will always be around in society. They are out of control and the gov’t takes advantage of it
It’s quite ridiculous how much we people are taxed throughout the world. The government finds the oddest things to tax, anything to make extra money.
Hard to find the right balance. I shudder when I see how much tax comes out of my check every week.
I think taxes are definitely necessary and provide great use for the country, but the government just decides to tax everything and anything imaginable and it doesn’t seem like the taxes even go to what they should be used for.
taxes are good and bad for me. i mean 364 days out of the year I am like screw this, but that one day i get my tax return I am glad we have taxes.
Taxes are nessacary because we need to give money for certain things
Taxes are definitely a necessity to economics and the government, but I feel like they take too much and sometimes it doesn’t go towards what it should.
I think some taxes are neccessary but alot of things that get taxed is really stupid. The government will do what they have to to get more money out of people.
Taxes are a necessity but there should be common sense in the way the taxes are made. Like come on beards or windows all that is a way to powerful and oppressive government.
Russian’s should get taxed if they don’t have a beard!
I hate paying for state and Gov. taxes I cant imagine being forced to pay for a beard or windows, truly ridiculous!
I agree with the fact that taxes are necessary, but they’re wasting money by taxing some of these irrelevant things.
TOO many taxes, just miles well say I’m taxing you everyday you breath on this earth, ridiculous!!!
Like seriously the beard tax!!!
The reason there are taxes on meals that are consumed IN the restaurant is because those customers are contributing to the costs of utilities, where to go orders don’t as much! I worked in a restaurant!
We already pay to use the internet, WiFi bills and internet bills. Adding on taxes to ow much you use the internet is absolutely absurd.
There should be taxes but they go too far with some of the things that are being taxed.
Taxes are good on paper but not in reality
I hate taxes!! It’s just money, money, and more money adding up going to absolutely nothing thats beneficial for us.
I believe taxes should go towards something better like schools and homeless veterans.
I wonder at what point we all just stopped caring we were being taxed for everything. The Colonists fought this to the point millions of dollars of tea got destroyed.
After reading this article it sounds like people were money hungry and wanting to tax everything they could or able to.
I have a love/hate feeling when it comes to taxes. I hate paying taxes throughout the year, but i love income tax time!!
Some of these laws and taxes are ridiculous!
Now a days the government has taxed everything, but the air we breathe, and yet I think that’s next to come.
I thought some of the taxes we have now are dumb but I think the taxes on windows and beards are at the top now. I remember talking about the tax beard in class a little bit though.
These laws and taxes are quite comical to think about.
All of those taxes mentioned are outrageous! The government was so desperate for control/power and money they thought of the weirdest things to tax. I’m surprised they didn’t put a tax on breathing!
if only we all could board up our houses from responsibilities
I hate taxes with a passion but with today’s world and wanting to have all the rights and everyday things we do not think about it is necessary to pay our taxes however annoying they may be.