A Brief History
On September 29, 1758 (New Style Calendar), one of the greatest naval heroes of all time was born, Horatio Nelson, the man that would become Vice Admiral and 1st Viscount Nelson, the hero of Trafalgar. Nelson’s career was one of consistent valor which cost him most of the sight in one eye and his right arm, before he was killed in action at Trafalgar, truly a masculine, “manly” man in the traditional sense.
Digging Deeper
Today, in the 21st Century, the thousands of years of human evolution to value strong, brave, “manly” men is being called “toxic masculinity,” leading many boys and men to be unsure of how to live their lives as proper representatives of the male gender. Is the era of the “macho man” and “he-man” a thing of the past or is there a way ahead for men to be “manly” without being a negative influence on other people?
Today, we list some of the ways we believe it would be beneficial for the men of today to learn to act and live their lives in a productive way while retaining a sense of “manhood” in a somewhat traditional sense. Your thoughts on the subject are welcome including criticisms of our suggestions and the nomination of your own suggestions for the boys and young men of today.
Obviously, what follows is only a partial list, but it covers a lot of the basics, important for any male to be a successful Man in today’s world.
Things to know:
How to drive (including riding mowers and other small vehicles and to use a stick shift), change a tire (be sure you know where and how to use the jack and spare in your car), administer first aid, fight, lift things, how to use various tools, how to use guns (including loading, unloading and firing), decent vocabulary (learning a word each day is a good practice), basic history and geography, how to do basic cooking, a foreign language and bits of other foreign languages (common foreign phrases such as please and thank you, hello and goodbye etc.). Stay at least somewhat abreast of current events. Do not bet on things, it is almost always a bad idea.
Things to have in your pocket, belt, wallet, or car:
Toilet paper, Kleenex or hanky (all clean), eyeglasses cleaner, comb, breath spray, a few coins, on your key ring a tiny flashlight, plastic tooth flosser/toothpick, 1 pack of Dude Wipes, basic tools in car (minimum tool would be a Leatherman or other multitool) screwdrivers, both regular and Phillips, pliers, some sort of knife, adjustable jaw wrench, tire pressure gauge, and for sure, black electrical tape(it can be used to repair shoes, clothes, all sorts of stuff and even save a life in an emergency), paper towels/napkins in car, towel in car, bottle of water in car, coins in car, writing material (paper and pen) in car (having a Sharpie if not a bad idea, either), some sort of gum or mints in car, small first aid kit and sewing kit in car, nail clippers, couple of paper clips and safety pins, flashlight (or even more than one) in car, plastic spoon and fork in car, In the winter time, be sure to have an ice scraper and snowbrush in the car. Not a bad idea to also have a jacket, gloves, hat, raincoat and Immodium tablets for the runs.
Things to Do:
Always, always, always tell the truth, as this will give you a powerful reputation and people will believe you when you really need them to. Be polite and courteous to everyone, even if they are fat or not good looking or mentally challenged or disabled somehow, including people of poverty or different cultures. Open doors for people, always say please and thank you (and learn those words in any language any country you visit), respect elders and bosses, even when you think you know better than they do. Be well groomed at all times, brush your teeth at least once a day really good. Avoid fighting and road rage. If you are going to fight, NEVER fight someone unless you are absolutely sure you will win- if you are not sure, don’t fight. Beware of someone totally not afraid of you- they might know something you don’t know such as they are armed or have a buddy behind you or they are truly bad ass. Be helpful wherever you happen to be or visit. Do not be dead weight. Do not be afraid to compliment, but don’t be quick to criticize. Treat people as you would like them to treat you or your loved ones. Be kind to animals, kids, and weaker people. Be strong, physically and mentally/emotionally. (Do not be a crybaby, sore loser, snowflake, etc) Do not be a bully. Be confident but not arrogant. Always be on time, whether for work, school, a date or anything. Be aware of everything around you, including people so you are not surprised if something goes down.
Be a leader, not a follower. Never let friends or a so called friend talk you into doing something you know or suspect to be wrong or a risk.
Driving. Never get into an accident no matter how “right” you are. Be courteous to other drivers and aware of what they want to do. Do not be oblivious to others. Never play tunes when in a parking lot. Drive slow and careful in parking lots. Do not play with phone, food, or anything else when driving, just pay attention to driving. Be polite and courteous to cops if you are stopped, even if they are being dicks. Being a dick back will only go bad. You are the car commander when you are driving. Do not let passengers do things that will get you in trouble such as drink alcohol, smoke pot, or litter, etc. Keep you windows clean inside and outside of the car. Never start driving until windows are clear of frost, fog and snow.
Grooming: You do not have to use shampoo every time you bathe or shower. Just use it about once a week and rinse your head with clean water the other times. When shaving, you can get a better shave using a tad of shampoo on your face like a wash first, and using hot water, then using shave cream. If using an electric razor, use William’s Lectric Shave first, you will get a better and more comfortable shave. If you use an antiperspirant deodorant every day, do not cake the stuff on. (It builds up and too much will stain your shirts.) Do not overdo cologne! Keep nails clean and trimmed at all times. Never talk with food in your mouth or chew food with your mouth open. When you take a bath or shower, wring out the washcloth and wipe yourself down with it, repeat as needed, and your towel will not get sopping wet so you can dry better.
With women and girls, always be courteous and considerate, never coarse or foul. Never yell or swear at a female, let alone even dream of hitting one, or even using any kind of physical force. No means do not be pushy or forceful. Dropping a female off somewhere, walk them to the door. Be a gentleman.
When using tools/doing work: Rule #1 is do not get hurt. Safety is the main thing, be sure to use eye and hearing protection and do not use so much force that you get hurt if something slips or breaks. Rule #2 is do not break a tool or what you are working on. Be careful. Rule #3 put tools away clean and in proper place. Swearing at stuff does not make it work better and I know because I have tried it! Use the right type of screwdriver (regular slotted or Phillips) and the right size. When using nuts and bolts, always use a ratchet or ratcheting wrench first, box end wrench second choice, open end wrench third, adjustable jay/Crescent wrench fourth, and only as a last resort use pliers or vise grips. Electricity is dangerous. Never do electrical work without proper supervision. If contemplating doing something electrical, plumbing, etc., consult Grandpa or a capable person first. If you do not have the right tools, check with someone to borrow the proper tool, or go buy the right tools for the job.
Some wise old sayings: (Men should know many wise old sayings)
If you cannot do it right, do it wrong.
If it does not fit, get a bigger hammer.
Always do the cheapest and easiest thing first if you are trying to fix something and are not sure what is wrong.
Read the instructions.
Do not be afraid to ask directions or for information.
No matter how smart or dumb someone is, there are things they know that you don’t know.
No job is without dignity. Never look down on someone because of their job.
Slow is smooth and smooth is fast, so do not try to go too fast or you will end up doing it slower after all and maybe really mess things up.
Never volunteer. You will almost always be sorry you did.
The most important rule about revenge is not getting caught and not having it come back on you worse. Thus, pretty much avoid trying to get revenge because it has a way of screwing you more. (Chinese say, when you go on a mission for revenge, dig two graves first, one is for you.)
All jokes are funnier if you use a pirate accent telling them.
All songs are better if you throw in a “cha cha cha cha” between verses.
People are more likely to laugh at jokes about you than jokes about them.
No matter how much you know, there is a heck of a lot more you don’t know.
The worth of a person is inversely proportional to how much supervision they need.
Question for students (and subscribers) to ponder: Is there such a thing as toxic masculinity?
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Historical Evidence
For more information, please see…
Hawley, Josh. Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs. Regnery Publishing, 2023.
Reeves, Richard. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It. Brookings Institute Press, 2024.
